Ragging

‘Freshie!’ He motioned towards Rajeev. ‘Introduce yourself!’

‘My name is Rajeev…Rajeev Varoach, sir.’

“Hmm..Varoach, huh ? Nice name,’ said Pheru, nodding his head approvingly. Rajeev smiled, pleased to have begun the interaction on a positive note. Pheru seemed lost in thought for a few seconds. Then he said, ‘So…how is your brother… Cock ?’ Everyone burst out laughing. Rajeev looked confused. Pheru clarified: You know, your brother, Cock, as in Cock-roach, Va-roach.’

‘F…Fine,’ blurted Rajeev.

‘Do you like Cock? Do you play with Cock often? Did you play with Cock when you were a kid?’ continued Pheru. More laughter emanated at the double entendre.

‘No, sir,’ Rajiv muttered, his voice suddenly weak.

‘What! You don’t like your brother?’ demanded Pheru. ‘How can you not like your brother? If you don’t like Cock, what do you like, huh?’ Rajeev didn’t reply. ‘Come on, man…what do you like?’ asked Pheru again.

‘Physics,’ he said finally. ‘I like Physics.’

‘Physics, eh? So you are really good at Physics, are you ?’

‘Well, let’s do an experiment to re-evaluate Newton’s first law,’ said Pheru. ‘Let’s assume that the floor of this room is absolutely frictionless. Zero friction, okay? Now suppose you begin to masturbate on this frictionless floor…you know, play with your brother, Cock. What happens then?’

Rajeev look confused.

‘Arre…’Pheru explained, very matter-of-fact, ‘you ejaculate. Don’t you?’ Rajeev nodded. ‘So,’ continued Pheru, ‘as you ejaculate, the drops move forward, and by the law of conservation of momentum, you move a few millimetres backward. Don’t you?’

‘Yes, yes…sir,’ replied Rajeev lamely.

‘Now, Newton’s first law says that any object tend to be in state of motion or rest unless acted upon by an external force, right? But here the drops are moving forward and you are moving backward without any external force at all, right? All the forces are internal, aren’t they? So this neat experiment of yours proves that Newton’s first law is just bullshit. Doesn’t it?’

Amidst raucous laughter, Rajeev fidgeted nervously.

Pheru smiled and said, ‘So this is your task for tonight. Sit at that desk and start writing an article on your experiment and we will send it to the Noble Prize Committee to review and publish, stating how you, Mr Va-Roach, and your brother, Mr Cock-Roach, have disproved Newton’s first law just by playing with each other.’

———————————————————-

‘What was so funny, eh?’ bellowed Pheru. ‘You stupid Jat! This is a serious scientific study and you find it funny! What..you’ve never masturbated? How many girls have you screwed?’

‘Sir…no, sir,’ mumbled Harsha.

‘No what? You don’t masturbate or you’ve never fucked a girl?’

‘Never …with a girl, sir,’ replied Harsha, his face expressionless with fear.

‘Really?’ said Pheru, suddenly softening his voice. Putting his arm around Harsha, he said, ‘That is terrible. It is a requirement for this hostel that you lose your virginity. Look around you…do you see any virgins? Huh?’

Pheru smiled. ‘See? So tonight, we will help you lose your virginity. Right here, right now.’

A loud cheer rand out in the crowd. Harsha smiled uncertainly.

Pheru continued, ‘So who do you think is the girl of your dreams…You know, the one you think about when you fantasize?’

‘Princess Diana, sir,’ said Harsha with a spontaneity that immediately ratified the sincerity of his reply.

‘Now imagine,’ continued Pheru, his voice full of sensuality and passion, ‘ you are alone with her on a beautiful island, and all she has left to wear is a black, lacy negligee. She is hot and horny for you. Her beautiful buttery breasts heave with every breath, and she spread her silky thighs and tells you, “Harsha, oh Harsha, I want you. I want you so bad.” So what will you do next, Harsha?’

Harsha looked around uncertainly and said, ‘Sir, I will…I will..ask her if she has AIDS.’

‘Man, you are cursed ! You will remain a virgin! You are hopeless’, he roared. ‘What the hell is wrong with you? Ask Princess Diana if she has AIDS?  Its a bloody fantasy, you idiot! She is not..I mean….” His voice trailed off in exasperation.

In my last post, where I wrote that this book ‘Bombay Rains Bombay Girls’ has heavy words, and I needed a dictionary; I was so wrong. This was an easy to read book . I was done with it (453 pages) in aprox 4hrs. The story was average. I won’t recommend anyone to buy this book. But in case you get a hand on it, and have nothing better to do, you can read it ofcourse!